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“What’s in a name?” asked Juliet in Shakespeare’s play, Romeo and Juliet. “That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” The following synonyms for some maritime names and phrases may not smell sweet to the parties referred to. I hope, however, that readers of Marine Café Blog will find them funny, yet not detached from reality.


1   International Maritime Organization: IMOney

2   Maritime slogan: maritime food for mynahs

3   Maritime press: maritime cut-and-paste factory

4   Maritime PR agency: maritime spammers

5   Nautical school: fastfood diploma chain

6   Seafarers’ charity: maritime donation drop box

7   Seafarers’ union: maritime brokerage house

8   Manning agent: money changer, ship screwing agent

9   Seafarers: martyrs of global trade

10 Ship captain: shipboard despot

11 Chief mate: assistant shipboard despot

12 Maritime award: corporate ego-booster

13 Maritime conference: talkathon-cum-coffee

14 Classification society: pre-accident surveyors

~ Barista Uno

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