After reading the limericks of Edward Lear, the English painter and writer, I felt that I should try my hand at this popular form of humourous verse. Traditional limericks are often nonsensical and even bawdy. But why not, I thought, put in some meaning and relevance to the times? The following nautical limericks are my first attempts at the craft.

NOTE: I have used the traditional five-line structure of the limerick with a rhyming pattern of aabba. Otherwise, I have followed my own instinct and style.

There once was a priest named Riley
Who pitied the men who worked at sea;
He gave them gifts when they were at port
And preached the teachings of the Lord —
“Okay, lads,” said he. “It’s time for a selfie.”

© Barista Uno (BU)

 

A cruise ship captain named Francesco
Liked to show a woman some bravado;
So he sailed the ship very close to shore,
Then it ran aground and floated no more.
He was first to escape on a lifeboat — oh no!

© Barista Uno (BU)

 

A rich ship owner named Olaf
Was so fat he made folks laugh;
He loved to eat legs of mutton
And wouldn’t stop, this glutton —
Till he soon died of a heart attack.

© Barista Uno (BU)

 

There was a seaman with a lovely wife
But had a mistress to spice up his life;
During a storm his ship sank and he died.
When his lover hugged his coffin and cried,
The angry wife kicked it with all her might.

© Barista Uno (BU)

 

There was a manning agent named Carlie
Who made a pile sending lads off to sea;
He strutted like a peacock around town,
But in truth, he was a thieving clown —
Stealing dollars from seamen was his S.O.P.

© Barista Uno (BU)

 

An ageing boatswain named Mar
Sat drinking alone in a dingy bar;
A woman offered him a good time,
But he didn’t want to spend a dime —
She left, muttering “Stingy old tar.”

© Barista Uno (BU)

~ Barista Uno

Did you like this article? Buy me a coffee

Let us know what you think of this article

Don't Miss the Brew!

Sign up to be notified of updates to Marine Cafe Blog

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Pin It on Pinterest